4 Keys to Processing Grief and Loss of a Career Transition

All endings are a new beginning. That’s one reason why going through a career transition can bring up a lot of emotions. It can feel like a rollercoaster. One moment you may feel excited and confident about what’s next and the next you might feel anger or sadness for what will no longer be. 

The silver lining? This is completely normal. 

Career transitions inherently come with some sense of grief. Just like in other areas of our life, acknowledging and processing the grief (instead of avoiding it) can be the path to move forward to the next chapter of your career. 

These tips will help you navigate the sense of loss and process the grief related to your career transition.  

The Connection Between Change and Grief 

It’s no coincidence that many change models mirror the stages of grief. 

The Kubler-Ross Change CurveTM was originally developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross to describe the stages experienced when grieving the loss of a loved one. The seven stages include shock, denial, frustration, depression, experiment, decision, and integration which are plotted to show the evolution of a person’s morale and confidence over time in response to a loss. The model reflects the rollercoaster of emotions a person may experience as a result of a change. 

Similarly, Bridges’ Transition Model, outlines the emotional reactions experienced throughout a transition. The model includes 3 stages: ending, neutral zone, and new beginning. The fact that something is ending is explicit in this model, though that “ending” could be in many forms, such as the loss of a job, loss of status within an organization, relocating to a new location for personal reasons, etc.  

Visual of Bridges Transition Model showing ending, neutral zone and new beginning.
The Bridge’s Transition Model explicitly names that change includes an ending or loss before there is a new beginning.

These models confirm what we know to be true – change brings about some form of loss, and with that loss comes grief. That does not mean the same change doesn’t bring new opportunities and feelings of joy or excitement too. You can experience both at the same time, which is why change in any form can be hard. 

And changes that impact your career (your livelihood and identity for many), can be especially hard. 

Assessing the Loss 

If you know in your heart that you need to make a career change but are having trouble taking the first step, it may be because you need to assess and process the loss associated with the change. After all, so much of our identity (especially in the US) is wrapped up in our career.  

What might you be losing?  

One model that can help you diagnose the loss you are experiencing with your career change is the SCARF Model. This model is based on neuroscience research that indicates that there are five social components that activate both threat and reward responses in our brain – the same responses that you rely on for survival. It’s a connection to our “primitive” brain that has helped keep us alive for centuries. 

Which of the following threats does the career change your exploring create for you? 

SCARF Model with icons and descriptions
The SCARF Model can be helpful in identifying what you might be losing as a result of a potential career transition.

4 Keys to Processing the Grief and Loss Related to a Career Transition 

1 | Acknowledge the loss 

It may be easier to plow forward with your career change without pausing to acknowledge the sense of loss you may be carrying. But it is incredibly freeing to allow yourself to assess and acknowledge your feelings as you move through the Kubler-Ross Change CurveTM. Even if you are excited about what is next, a career change inherently involves some sort of loss.  

Take time to reflect on the following: 

  • What are you losing with this change? Be specific. Refer to the SCARF Model, if needed. 
  • How does that loss impact you personally? 
  • What is the significance of the loss? 
  • What, if anything, would help you process the loss? (Hint: Think about what has helped you navigate similar situations in the past.) 

2 | Explore the new opportunities the change creates 

While change does include some sort of loss, it also brings about new opportunities. Naming these opportunities can provide motivation to keep going towards what’s next in your career (move through the stages of grief), even when it feels really hard.  

Ask yourself the following questions: 

  • What new opportunities does this change create for me? 
  • How might my life or career be better as a result of this change? 

Here are just a few examples of new opportunities my coaching clients have uncovered during their career transitions: 

  • A role or organization that better aligns with their values
  • Living their purpose more completely
  • Having more time or work-life harmony to spend with loved ones
  • Being able to move to a more personally desirable location

3 | Hold gratitude 

Woman with arms outstretched and eyes closed looking up to the sky
Gratitude can be the path to letting go and moving forward in your career transition.

There is endless research that demonstrates that having gratitude for what you have builds resilience to face what lies ahead. What’s beautiful about gratitude is that holding it doesn’t cost a thing.  

You may be angry that your current career didn’t pan out the way you imagined, and that’s a totally valid way to feel. It also doesn’t serve you well to stay in that anger. Your career up until now has served a purpose, even if you don’t yet understand what that is. 

I often say that I have learned more from the worst leaders I’ve worked with than the best. I am grateful to have worked with those leaders when they were at (what I hope was) their worst because it showed me with no uncertainty how NOT to lead. My values and principles became crystal clear when I was working with the worst leaders – and that is a gift I didn’t know I needed until much later. 

  • What about your current career or career experience so far are you grateful for? 
  • What have you learned about yourself? 
  • What are you most proud of? 
  • What will you carry forward from this experience? 

Pro Tip: The Kubler-Ross Changes CurveTM shows us that it is normal to be in a place of frustration or denial when you experience a loss. The goal is to not get stuck in that part of the change curve and instead build strategies to move forward to acceptance and growth. 

4 | Let it go 

Letting go is not as simple as it sounds. Doing so takes intention and effort, but the reward is that it frees your mental and emotional energy to move towards your new beginning. Holding on to what was literally holds you back from moving forward. 

Ask yourself the following questions: 

  • What are you holding on to? How is that impacting you? Be specific. 
  • What are you most proud of or grateful for from this chapter of your career? 
  • What did you learn? 
  • What do you need to do to let go of all that this chapter offered you? 
  • How might you close this chapter?  
  • How might you mark this transition point to honor what was and prepare for what will be? 

Case Study 

When I left my career as an engineering leader, I experienced many types of loss. I was leaving a career I was proud of and worked hard for – I was good at what I did, and I wouldn’t be doing that work ever again in my career. 

I had also spent 13 years working in the same organization. My friends, professional network, and identity were intertwined with my career with that organization. I truly didn’t know who I was without that career. 

After taking time to acknowledge all of this, I realized that what I was most thankful for and would carry forward is the support and mentorship so many people had offered me through that chapter in my career. 

I decided to host a career transition party and invite all of the people who supported and mentored me over those 13 years. Having those people together to mark this transition allowed me to process the loss, feel their support, and build confidence to move forward. 

Normalizing the Grief, Loss and Gratitude of Career Transitions 

It’s natural to feel a rollercoaster of emotions when considering a career transition. After all, change is often modeled after the stages of grief. Instead of avoiding the sense of grief or loss associated with a career transition, acknowledging and processing these feelings can be the path forward in your career journey. 

Need support in navigating the sense of loss related to your career transition? Unearth Coaching & Consulting offers career transition coaching packages to support you in moving towards your next chapter. Contact me today to learn more and get started! 

Susan Gleissner

Susan Gleissner believes that life is better with adventure, including our careers. Her journey from being an engineering leader to an HR professional, combined with her passion for helping others reach their potential positions her to offer practical, individualized career transition and leadership coaching to those looking to take their career to the next level. Susan is a credentialed coach through the International Coaching Federation and Gallup. In her spare time she shares adventure travel inspiration on her travel blog, This Big Wild World.

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